Caroline, Part 3

Memories are fuzzy, but Caroline and I spent more time together.

We went to bars together a couple of times.

She insisted on driving, and I have a delightful memory of pulling into a gas station and watching a couple of guys become absolutely enthralled as Caroline stepped out of the vehicle.

She was slender and she always wore a trendy form-fitting skirt just above the knee and patterned tights.

As if her natural beauty wasn’t striking enough on its own, she also displayed a mod fashion sense, fitting to my comparison of a certain 60’s icon.

As Caroline stepped out of the car, I also stepped out to go buy something, and one of the young men shouted flirtatiously, “Helllllo ladies!”

I smiled. He was kind enough to address both of us, but I knew it was Caroline he was looking at. She was an absolute knockout. Men stared at her everywhere that we went.

Later on I became friends with someone who had known Caroline for a long time, a girl named Kari.

When I related the story about the guy at the gas station flirting, Kari smiled and said, “There are so many fishermen in love with Caroline in this town. They can’t have her and it breaks their hearts.”

I laughed my ass off and told her that is the most “Juneau, Alaska” thing that I have ever heard in my life. She laughed back and agreed it was true.

It must have been the third time hanging out with Caroline that I finally brought up the question about whether this was a friend thing or a romance thing.

Honestly – deep down, I knew it couldn’t be a dating thing. I hoped that I was sensing that kind of chemistry, but I also felt that I should be pragmatic since the whole situation as I envisioned it was just too good to be true.

First I approached the age difference, something I felt insecure about. I was blunt.

I said, “So…you know that I’m like 30, right? And you are 21…”

Caroline smiled and replied, “I like hanging out with older people. I’m kind of an old soul. I’m actually friends with another lady around your age and she reminds me a lot of you. I can be myself around her and there’s a natural rapport there, just like with you.”

Ah, there we go. Melissa just got friend-zoned. *drum roll and crash*.

But, I had to push anyway. I am me. So, I just came out with it.

“Okay. So, I have a crush on you. Obviously you’re gorgeous, as you know. I am wondering if you are…like…bi….at all? Like, do you only date men?”

I blushed my ass off while saying this. I could barely look at her, I kept looking down at the ground.

A radiant smile spread across her face, then she blushed and started laughing. She buried her face in her hands for a moment, hiding her blush. Finally, she looked up.

Her bright blue eyes looked directly into mine and she said, “No, I’m straight. Sorry. I’m just comfortable with you and wanted to be friends.” She smiled at me a little sadly as I muttered something to the effect that I figured I could never be THAT lucky anyway.

She was so genuinely sweet and charming that I couldn’t take it too personally. Soon enough we moved onto a different topic and laughed together.

*this episode ends*

*the story is not done yet*

Any person stumbling on this will have to go find episode 1 and 2 if you care, because I am not linking it.

I just got through a meal that I did not think I would get down. I did good today on many fronts!

until next time,

Melissa ZeroSpace Pumpkin

10 thoughts on “Caroline, Part 3

    1. Thanks ๐Ÿ’œ. That means a lot to me, because the beginning of every evening meal begins with an incredible amount of fear. It’s only after I get writing a good ways through that the fear dissipates. It’s such a bear to struggle with this. I’m not sure if you read my post about ARFID, but that post does a good job explaining what it’s like.
      Anyway this memoir shit is really doing the trick. I will keep it up.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome! I can relate to that arresting fear. Actually, my last post about the glass house…I wrote in the midst of a severe panic attack. Writing helps me in very much the same way. I believe I did, but I’ll double check. I’d like to understand better. Seems like it is indeed!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Have you ever listened to Jody Whitely? It can take a bit of patience, but when I have panic or severe anxiety she gets me down from it within a half hour. Glad to hear that writing helps you! Indeed it’s such a powerful tool.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Anytime. She mostly does sleep hypnosis for anxiety / depression but this morning I discovered she has a bunch of soothing morning meditations too. I guess I should log off and work on my HR articles. I hope you sleep well ๐Ÿ’œ

        Liked by 1 person

  1. That’s so intriguing! I’m excited to find out what happens next!

    I can totally relate. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been friend-zoned, I’d be a wealthy woman. It bites and always leads me to wonder how anyone ever gets together at all!! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, but in the case of Caroline it turned out to be perfectly fine. We became friends and I discovered that she was a bit looney tunes. Just like all of us, I guess :). But not a good match for me. And I ended up dating one of her friends, which wouldn’t have happened had I not met her. Look at me! I’m giving it ALL away! Haha! I guess if I get lazy and decide to stop writing about Caroline, I just provided the… what the fuck is it called… oh – up too late – what the hell? It’s called… SPOILER, there we go. Yeah so I just did a spoiler.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. HA HA! Yeah, spoilerish comment! ๐Ÿ˜€ Wow, I’m glad you and Caroline became friends and you dated one of her friends!! That’s beautiful!!

        Liked by 1 person

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